Education Frustration

I had parent/teacher interviews for 2 of the kids today. Sihdney's was after school, and Asher's was after supper. Both were frustrating in their own way, but I think Asher's bothered me the most.
Basically his teacher told me he should be held back. Now, this came as a shock to me, since his report card was very good, with no mention of this anywhere! Sometime in the Fall, his teacher put him on a modified reading/spelling program, without our knowledge ( I was informed after the first report card at the parent/teacher interview). Tonight I am told that because of this modified program, he will not pass into gr.3, but will be placed. WHAT? No one thought to mention this to his lowly parents? This is where the teacher and Special Ed. teacher start talking about how hard gr.3 is ( Behn is in gr.3, and that's a whole other story). Then I'm told that Asher is testing 6 months behind his peers. Again, WHAT? It's March here folks, maybe I should have been informed of this before now. There is an agenda that comes home every day, I write notes for the teacher in this book. Could she not have mentioned something in there?
At the beginning of every school year, we receive a note asking us, as parents, to be Partners in our child's education. I have gone in for meetings, asked ( repeatedly) for work to be sent home ( sporadic at best). At what point do the teachers help me help my children?
I send my kids to school in good faith. The teachers will teach them, and I will support that work at home. When did this become a one sided conversation? I have said it to every teacher at some point in my child's time in school, and lately I've been saying it way too much: I am a STAY AT HOME MOM. I am here every day, to help my kids when and where they need it. We do homework EVERYDAY. Send home the tools I can use to help them!
At this point in my rant, I'd like to point out that Asher's teacher is a lovely woman, and we're very fond of the Special Ed. teacher too. Sadly, I think that makes this even more frustrating.