Flying Time

Summer is flying by. I wish I was enjoying it more.

It's ridiculous how much I am struggling with this right now.

I miss being home with the kids (as I have stated previously). They miss having me home.

Any time we wish to spend out of town, or with friends is limited by my work schedule, hubby's work schedule, and trying to find a way for us to both be off at the same time.

Oldest is still with my sister. I know he's learning so much, and I know he's liking the fact that he's earning money. :)

We just went down to my parents' place to pick up Littlest, and left Son #3 there for his time.  I love that they get this time there on their own. I think when they're older they'll be happy for it....I know some of my fondest memories are of summer with family.

Ever heard the song by Trace Adkins called "You're Gonna Miss This" ......the sentiment is truer every year.

Dream a Little Dream

So, when last I wrote, I was feeling guilty about working and not being home with the kids.

I do think that my years as a SAHM were the right thing to do. I also know that I want to be more and do more.

So, I went back to work last year. It's a job tailored to my skill-set ( pretty sure I blogged about it before).

I have a dream though. I want to have my own bakery/coffee spot. ( Maybe I've blogged about this too? My mind is a sponge: holds plenty I can't see).

I want it to be a family place, where my kids can work with us until they leave home.

I want it to feel as warm and comfortable as the kitchen in my home.

My fear, the thing that stops me from leaping into it: hurting my family. I don't want to put everything on the line, have it be a bust, and leave us in a lurch.

So, for now, it remains a dream. It'll be upgraded to a goal soon.

How to Look Like a Moron.....

Today was not a good day.

It actually started last night.

In fact, maybe it started the first day I went to work during the kids' summer vacation.

Saying goodnight to the kids last night, Son #3 hugged me hard, and asked me if I had to work for their whole summer off.

Stab of Mommy-Guilt.

Son #2 came down and hugged me hard, twice. Very out of character.

Stab.
Slept in this morning ( just enough to throw me off). Littlest came downstairs, all bleary-eyed. "Mom, do you have today off with us?"

Stab. Stab. Stab.

Already feeling tender, I head into work. There's a note, completely harmless.....I took it the wrong way. There were tears, a bit of really ugly crying. I managed to make a co-worker feel bad, and make myself look like a blithering idiot in the process.

If there was any doubt in anyone's mind at work that I am certifiable, I have now removed all traces of it.

Logically, I know the kids are fine here at home. I leave before they're up (this morning not withstanding), and am home in the middle of the afternoon.

I made the choice to stay home with our kids, and to not work. Now, to not be home with them...it just feels wrong.  No matter that I generally like my job, I miss being home with them.



P.S. I miss the Oldest too. I'll be glad when he comes home.

Working.....Always in Progress

Yikes, nearly a year since I posted anything here. Perhaps that's why my brain feels full to bursting! So, for my mental health ( and possibly to the detriment of yours), I am going to try to stop in here on a semi-occasional basis.

What a crazy year it has been. The biggest change in our lives was me going from being a full-time SAHM (stay-at-home mom) to working Monday to Friday. Honestly, I think the kids have adjusted to me being out of the home better than I have. I miss sending them off to school every morning, but am so lucky that I am done work before they get home every day. As summer vacation creep ever closer, I am struggling a little more.  They will be done school, and I will still be leaving them at the crack of dawn every day. While I realize that many,many people do not get to spend summer vacation with their kids, this will be my first full summer working.

As for my job: I honestly enjoy it. Really, it's like they created a position for someone like me. All my skills I honed while staying home with our kids for so many years are what make me good at what I do every day at work.

• Plan Meals: no problem
• Cook for numerous kids & not feel hurt when they don't like it: got it....have you met my kids?
• Shop for food on a budget: nothing like being a single income family to do that
• Bake and cook from scratch: ...is there any other way? ;)
• Spend time with kids: been doing it a long time.

I am very lucky to work with some really interesting and funny people, and I work for a great organization. I think it's been an ideal way for me to dip my feet back into the workforce pool....though some weeks the early start time makes this mama TIRED.

Internally, the adjustments have been a little tough for me. I wrote a little bit about it yesterday (here) . Of all the things I can do, personal time management isn't one of them. I do miss my days at home, and being able to take a little more time for myself while keeping up with the needs of the family. I'm working on finding balance, and I'm pretty sure it'll be a constant battle.

The kids, my beloved Screaming Meemies....they are growing. Growing taller, getting older, maturing before my eyes. It makes me so proud, and reduces me to tears, depending on the day. The Oldest hits high school, #2 goes to Junior High in the Fall ( both in the same school), #3 will be the Big Fish in grade 6 at the elementary school, and Littlest will be heading to grade 4 (and double digits on her next birthday).


The Oldest is also leaving us for a month this summer. He'll be staying with my sister for a month and working at her SO's (significant other's) new restaurant on Cultus Lake, the Lakeside Beach Club. We'll miss the kid to be sure, but, it's such an exciting opportunity for him. I'll try to keep my tears to a minimum.

Changes abound around here....I'll do my best to keep on rolling with them.

Summer Fun

It's HOT. It's summer time, so, I am doing my very best to not complain and embrace it....so far, so good. Might get harder to keep this cheery disposition as the temp increases and the kids start fighting.

Yesterday was fantastic. It was a friend's birthday, so we went out to their campsite at the lake and spent the afternoon there. Little kids everywhere, playing in the water, laying out in the sun, and a delicious meal with everyone. We really loved it ( though I was missing the Littlest, as she's at Gramma and Grampa's).

Some of the kiddos there were cousins. It reminded me of our summer vacations to my Gramma's, spent with my own cousins. We didn't always get along, but I do have some fond memories for sure.

My kids don't have that.They have 2 little cousins that live on the other side of the country, and we have never met them. (I keep buying the lottery tickets in the hopes we'll be able to fund a trip out East....no luck so far). Hopefully, one day, we'll make it out there. I'd love for my kids to get together with that side of the family and get to know them...heck, I'd like to as well!

So, I am very thankful for friends that welcome us and let us be a part of their lives, and for letting us make some of their summer memories our own.

Screaming Meemies are Back

Oh boy, I have been a negligent blogger. This is supposed to be a place to write about our lives, yet, life gets in the way.
I'm not even sure when, or what I wrote when last I stopped by.
Let's start over friends. Let's call it a new day and pick things up as if we'd never been apart. Deal?

The school year is nearly over. The kids are so looking forward to Summer break. I am as well. Hubby might even get some leave over the break, which would be very nice. He's had a tasking every summer since we moved here., 

Behn and the grade 5's had their big Operetta presentation last week. Made this mama proud to be sure. This 2nd born son of ours has spent years standing still and staring out at the audience during group performances. To see him not just participate, but, to do so with a little verve and vigour....well, I'll be honest, it brought a little tear to my eye. All of a sudden he is so big. 

Jacob's Spring Concert for band is tonight. We nearly forgot about it. For some reason, we all thought it was next month, oops. Never fear, I found his white shirt, and I will attempt tp iron it for him this afternoon. I'm really looking forward to hearing them play tonight, being a former band geek myself. It's amazing how much they have improved since last year when they started out. 

Asher and Sihdney have no big performances or presentations at the moment. Sihdney says she's very excited to hear the music tonight, Asher shrugged his shoulders.....let's hop he can hold it together for the entire length of the concert tonight.....

***You can also find me over at my more fitness related blog RunBarefootMama .***

Military Families get what???

Folks, I feel need to set the record straight.

Perhaps, you'll read this, and, at the end, you'll say "That's it?" or, "So?"

I know I'll feel better, and, isn't that what my blog is all about....making me feel better?  ;)

We are a military family. I grew up in a military family. I tell you this, just so you know I have some knowledge of this "lifestyle".

Over the years, I have heard so many ridiculous things that civilian peeps think we, as military families, get. 

These are my top 3 favourites:

#1. Members of our military makes loads of money.

Not true, especially when they first start out. Things were real tight when we were first married...like, when hubby was away, I ate a lot of cup-a-soup & popcorn to save on the groceries. We did ok, and we're doing a lot better now, but, rich we'll never be.

What members do get, are great medical benefits, as do their families if they have one. 

#2. Military Families Get Free Housing

Ummmm, nope. Not even close. Members and their families that live in PMQ's (Private Married Quarters), pay the same as anyone on civvy street. What you don't know, is that members don't pay rent...they pay something called "shelter charges", so they aren't covered my the "Landlord/tenant Act", no matter what province they're in, or how bad the house may be. ( I should tell you here, our family now owns a house & we no longer live in PMQ's)

There are some newer houses now, but, not many. Most of the homes are old, and need serious upgrades. We've lived in houses that were in such poor condition, no one but a military family would be allowed to live in them. We've even been in homes that were condemned. 

#3. Military Families Get Free Childcare 

Again....nope. Hahhaha....oh, that one makes me laugh, especially with our 4 kids. 

In recent years, the MFRC's ( Military Family Resource Center) have offered 1-3 hours a week of Deployment care if your spouse is deployed. This is on their time, at their discretion, not whenever or wherever you feel like it. It's helpful, but not what I would call free childcare.

I worked ( briefly) for a store in our town last year. With my hubby being in the field, busy with work, and tasked for more craziness in the summer, our oldest was spending a lot of time caring for his siblings. I decided a minimum wage job was not worth all this hassle, so, told them I would have to quit.

The district manager was angry. I could hear her while she was talking to my manager on the phone. She was under the mistaken impression that I could just get free care for my kids so I could come to work. No my dear, no. Like anyone else, it's my job to care for my kids, not the military's.

Being a military family is a different life to be sure. I don't think it's any harder than anyone else's, we just have our unique struggles, like everyone else. 

"If the military had wanted you to have a family, they would have issued you one!"

                                                                                  ~unknown

***All info here is garnered from my own experiences.***