Today was not a good day.
It actually started last night.
In fact, maybe it started the first day I went to work during the kids' summer vacation.
Saying goodnight to the kids last night, Son #3 hugged me hard, and asked me if I had to work for their whole summer off.
Stab of Mommy-Guilt.
Son #2 came down and hugged me hard, twice. Very out of character.
Slept in this morning ( just enough to throw me off). Littlest came downstairs, all bleary-eyed. "Mom, do you have today off with us?"
Stab. Stab. Stab.
Already feeling tender, I head into work. There's a note, completely harmless.....I took it the wrong way. There were tears, a bit of really ugly crying. I managed to make a co-worker feel bad, and make myself look like a blithering idiot in the process.
If there was any doubt in anyone's mind at work that I am certifiable, I have now removed all traces of it.
Logically, I know the kids are fine here at home. I leave before they're up (this morning not withstanding), and am home in the middle of the afternoon.
I made the choice to stay home with our kids, and to not work. Now, to not be home with them...it just feels wrong. No matter that I generally like my job, I miss being home with them.
P.S. I miss the Oldest too. I'll be glad when he comes home.