Friday, October 15, 2010

Bring in Your Bullies

Bullying. Is there anything more hurtful to a child? Many of us have been through it at school, at work, and sadly,even in family settings.
Last year, son #2 had a tough year. Between his teacher, Mrs. Grade Three , and one Particular boy, he never wanted to go back to school again. This year, his teacher, Mrs. Grade Four, is a wonderful woman, she sees #2 for the kid he is, and accepts him. Unfortunately, Particular Boy ( as he will be known from this point on), is in his class again.
It started out well enough. they played at recess, #2 was happy. Then, after the honeymoon period, it began to fall apart. #2 started to withdraw, and that familiar shoulder-slump returned. Yesterday, after asking him a number of times what was wrong...we quietly says " PB ( Particular Boy) says no one cares about me. No one likes me. he keeps saying it." Broke my heart. "He says I'm No Friends, over and over". Heart breaks a little more. Son #2 is a sensitive kid,he takes things to heart.

We have told all our kids they don't have to let anyone make them feel bad. If someone hurts them physically, they have the right to protect themselves. If someone hurts them with words, they can and should  tell whoever it is to LEAVE THEM ALONE. ( Yesterday Son #2 told PB "You're a bully!" I was a proud Mama)

I sent a message to Mrs Grade Four right away. I was assured she'd look into it. To my surprise ( and delight), SHE DID! She spoken to both of them, PB has been put on notice, Son #2 has been told to tell her if anything else happens. She also told them both to stay away from each other on the playground, and she will re-visit the issue next week.

After last year with Mrs Grade Three poo-pooing our bullying concerns ( since she is a bully herself, I guess we couldn't have hoped for more), and the Principal giving a half-assed effort to take  care of things, this is a positive thing. I'm not sure it will be the end of things, but at least the beginning looks promising.


  1. My kids' school has been using a system called <a href=">restorative Justice</a> for the last three years. I am amazed at the transformation in the school.

    Restorative Justice is usually referred to criminal cases, but in the case of our school, they are using it to stop/prevent fights/bullying/other school nastiness. Every Friday, every class does a "circle time" to discuss any issues -- Students are given a chance to say what bothered them, how it made them feel and what they think should be done about it. Attackers are given fair opportunity to defend their actions (and more often than not are found to have been harmed prior to their lashing out).

    It has helped IMMENSELY. If you have a good teacher this year, I can get the info from our school to pass it on. I can't even begin to describe how raising the kids with this thought process in mind has the ability to change the world.

  2. hmmm... my html messed up.

  3. I would love the info! Our school does the "DARE" program. Good on paper.....