I'm too tired to Write Twice

Here's a post from my other blog for your reading pleasure :)

Other Blog Post

Flying Time

Summer is flying by. I wish I was enjoying it more.

It's ridiculous how much I am struggling with this right now.

I miss being home with the kids (as I have stated previously). They miss having me home.

Any time we wish to spend out of town, or with friends is limited by my work schedule, hubby's work schedule, and trying to find a way for us to both be off at the same time.

Oldest is still with my sister. I know he's learning so much, and I know he's liking the fact that he's earning money. :)

We just went down to my parents' place to pick up Littlest, and left Son #3 there for his time.  I love that they get this time there on their own. I think when they're older they'll be happy for it....I know some of my fondest memories are of summer with family.

Ever heard the song by Trace Adkins called "You're Gonna Miss This" ......the sentiment is truer every year.

Dream a Little Dream

So, when last I wrote, I was feeling guilty about working and not being home with the kids.

I do think that my years as a SAHM were the right thing to do. I also know that I want to be more and do more.

So, I went back to work last year. It's a job tailored to my skill-set ( pretty sure I blogged about it before).

I have a dream though. I want to have my own bakery/coffee spot. ( Maybe I've blogged about this too? My mind is a sponge: holds plenty I can't see).

I want it to be a family place, where my kids can work with us until they leave home.

I want it to feel as warm and comfortable as the kitchen in my home.

My fear, the thing that stops me from leaping into it: hurting my family. I don't want to put everything on the line, have it be a bust, and leave us in a lurch.

So, for now, it remains a dream. It'll be upgraded to a goal soon.

How to Look Like a Moron.....

Today was not a good day.

It actually started last night.

In fact, maybe it started the first day I went to work during the kids' summer vacation.

Saying goodnight to the kids last night, Son #3 hugged me hard, and asked me if I had to work for their whole summer off.

Stab of Mommy-Guilt.

Son #2 came down and hugged me hard, twice. Very out of character.

Stab.
Slept in this morning ( just enough to throw me off). Littlest came downstairs, all bleary-eyed. "Mom, do you have today off with us?"

Stab. Stab. Stab.

Already feeling tender, I head into work. There's a note, completely harmless.....I took it the wrong way. There were tears, a bit of really ugly crying. I managed to make a co-worker feel bad, and make myself look like a blithering idiot in the process.

If there was any doubt in anyone's mind at work that I am certifiable, I have now removed all traces of it.

Logically, I know the kids are fine here at home. I leave before they're up (this morning not withstanding), and am home in the middle of the afternoon.

I made the choice to stay home with our kids, and to not work. Now, to not be home with them...it just feels wrong.  No matter that I generally like my job, I miss being home with them.



P.S. I miss the Oldest too. I'll be glad when he comes home.